Booters back home
Staff Correspondent
The Bangladesh national football team returned home on Saturday after their dismal Nehru Cup mission in India prompting a call for improving in every department of the game to cope with the challenge of the upcoming SAFF Championship.
Coached by former Indian captain Syed Naeemuddim, Bangladesh conceded 7 goals in their four matches, going down to Syria 0-2, India 0-1, 0-3 to Kyrgyzstan and drew with Cambodia 1-1. After a 17-month hiatus the booters participated in an international competition and so the weaknesses and limitations were very much visible.
Though Bangladesh let in seven goals, the defence, however, was the striking point of the team. Thanks to some beautiful saves from goalkeeper Biplob, who saved the team from swallowing at least seven goals more in the tournament. Skipper Nazrul was always a cool-headed customer and Wali Faisal also did a good job but Rajani showed signs of aging and Ariful definitely failed to shine in his job at the right side of the box.
In all four matches the defenders were under pressure most of the time and they lost their concentration in the dying minutes due to the lack of stamina in the energy-sapping heat. Naeem’s decision of omitting Siraji in the right side of the defence should be reconsidered.
The midfield was the fragile department of Bangladesh. Nowadays a holding midfielder and a playmaker are very much essential to excel in the international circuit. Though young Zahid showed glimpses of talent both Abul and Arman Aziz were inconsistent. Bangladesh forwards always missed the quality through passes and crosses or chips from the midfield. Experienced Titu, however, was a hard worker and provided some occasional thrusts in his new role, running up from the deep.
Presently Bangladesh lack quality scorers and Emily and Robin were often found alone in the opposition D-box. It is fundamental in football that to score a goal a team needs at least the same number of players in the opposition defence as the defenders. Most often Bangladesh forwards were found without any relievers beside them. Young Robin tried his best, Emily was out of form otherwise he would not have missed the chances that fell in his way and Alfaz certainly showed the signs of ageing.
Monzur Hossain Malu, the acting general secretary of the Bangladesh Football Federation, believes there is a lot of work to do, ‘The players were a little tired after a long B league. However, we don’t blame the players, we have to look forward to wiping out the weak points and the time is very short,’ said Malu.
Collingwood fined
Agence France-Presse . London
England captain Paul Collingwood has been fined 50 per cent of his match fee for a slow over-rate during India’s nine-run win in the second one-day international here at Nevil Road.
Match referee Roshan Mahanama ruled that England had been three overs short of its target of bowling 50 overs in the permitted three-and-a-half hours when time allowances were taken into consideration.
The England team was also fined.
And with the shortfall being more than two overs, Collingwood, as captain, was automatically charged with a Level Two breach of the International Cricket Council code of conduct, clause 2.11.
Collingwood pleaded guilty to that charge in the hearing that took place after Friday’s floodlit match where he was accompanied by Peter Moores, the England coach, and team manager Phil Neale.
The charge was laid by the two on-field match officials Billy Doctrove and Ian Gould and third umpire Nigel Llong.
Collingwood’s punishment, the minimum available for a Level Two offence, could have been much worse.
Mahanama, if he’d gone to the other extreme, had the option of imposing a full match fee and/or a one Test or two one-day international ban.
Had Collingwood been banned he could have missed the third one-day international at Edgbaston on Monday and the fourth match of the series, Thursday’s day/night fixture at Old Trafford.
Collingwood’s fine, under ICC rules, took precedence over any fine that was imposed on him as part of the England team.
The other players were fined five per cent of their match fees for every over they failed to bowl in the time allowed. That left Collingwood’s team-mates 15 per cent out of pocket following the match.
An England spokesman told AFP in Bristol that neither Collingwood nor the team would be appealing against their fines.
England took 40 minutes longer than they ought to complete their 50 overs, having been seven short at the cut-off point.
Ferguson blames boardroom ‘hangers-on’
Agence France-Presse . Manchester
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has blamed boardroom ‘hangers-on’ for the high number of managerial casualties in the English game.
Martin Jol arrives at Old Trafford today with his long-term future as Tottenham manager hanging in the balance after being left in no doubt about the club’s Champions League expectations at a meeting with chairman Daniel Levy.
Ferguson is an admirer of Jol’s work as a coach in Holland and is dismayed that the Dutchman’s position has been called into question so early in the season.
But with the Premier League champions yet to register a win this season, the Tottenham manager can expect no favours at Old Trafford.
Yet Ferguson has no doubt who he believes is responsible for costing many of his colleagues their jobs.
‘It’s just sad that there’s such a knee jerk reaction in football today,’ said Ferguson.
‘I don’t know how many times I have sat here over the years and supported managers under pressure because you know it’s not fair. But it doesn’t change.
‘There’s no evidence that sacking a manager gets you success.
‘I don’t know where the root of it comes from. I know it’s probably happened here from time to time.
‘When I had a bad spell here people were saying I should have retired six years ago, I’m too old and all that nonsense.
‘There’s a root to criticism quickly in football today.
‘If you look at the corporate hospitality of football today – you go into some boardrooms and there’s only about four directors but 30 or 40 hangers-on.
‘They (the hangers-on) are the ones who think they know everything and are the ones who are probably laying the seeds of it.
‘When I came here at first they used to call it the second board. They used to meet on Monday in the Grill Room (at Old Trafford) and discuss everything that happened on the Saturday and make their opinions known. That was the way.
‘That happens at football clubs and that maybe is where the seed is sown.
‘And so when somebody like Martin at a club with Tottenham’s expectations has a bad spell the inevitable happens.’
Ferguson is refusing to press the panic button despite failing to see his side win any of their first three games.
United start the weekend seven points adrift of the top of the table after two draws and a defeat, but believes it is only a matter of time before his side is firing on all cylinders again.
‘We’ll win the game on Sunday,’ said a confident Ferguson. ‘Tottenham are coming with a great determination to help their manager but with the ability in this team, (the winless run) can’t continue for long, I’m sure of that.’
United are without Gary Neville who has picked up a thigh strain in training, but Louis Saha could be on the bench after a knee injury.
‘Louis gave us 15 goals in the first half of last season and if he’d continued playing he may probably have got to the 30 mark,’ said Ferguson.
‘That was a big loss to us in the second half of last season and we just never got him back on the field. But he has been doing well in training for us in the last few weeks and if he does come back for us it is a big boost.’
Tottenham have 18-year-old defender Gareth Bale and Teemu Tainio back to face United and Jol has not ruled Dimitar Berbatov out.
Bale, who has yet to start a game since his five-million-pound (10 million dollar) move from Southampton, and Tainio returned from injury and illness for Wales and Finland respectively on Wednesday.
‘Dimitar still has a bit of a problem with his groin but he might be able to make it and Younes Kaboul is progressing well with his hamstring, better than Michael Dawson, who is still out with his ankle injury,’ said Jol.
Darren Bent is struggling to make the game because of a thigh problem while England defender Ledley King remains sidelines with a damaged knee.
Reds cruise past Sunderland
Agence France-Presse . Sunderland
Liverpool maintained their impressive start to the season as Momo Sissoko and Andriy Voronin ensured a comfortable 2-0 victory at newly-promoted Sunderland on Saturday.
An energetic home team could never match their illustrious rivals for quality and had Liverpool striker Fernando Torres not missed four clear chances this could have been another embarrassing lesson in top flight management for a disappointed Roy Keane.
Liverpool arrived at the Stadium of Light without influential captain Steven Gerrard as manager Rafael Benitez chose to rest his England international midfielder ahead of Tuesday’s Champions League clash with Toulouse.
Voronin, signed from Bundesliga club Bayern Leverkusen during the close-season, almost took full advantage of his place alongside Torres when he burst clear of the Sunderland defence within 20 seconds.
Keane must have feared the worst after the previous weekend’s 3-0 defeat at Wigan. However, Scotland goalkeeper Craig Gordon demonstrated just why he commanded a British record nine million pounds fee earlier this month with a point-blank save to deny Voronin the perfect start.
Liverpool were in control against last season’s Championship title winners but the 2007 Champions League finalists suffered an unexpected blow in the 16th minute when Sami Hyypia was forced from the field with a suspected broken nose, following an innocuous clash with Sunderland’s Daryl Murphy.
Daniel Agger slotted into central defence alongside Jamie Carragher but the switch briefly unsettled Benitez’s men. Sunderland forced a first corner and Michael Chopra beat the offside trap only for Liverpool goalkeeper Jose Reina to reach the loose ball first.
United train their eyes on Berbatov
The Times . London
Tottenham Hotspur will face a fight to keep Dimitar Berbatov out of the clutches of Manchester United – but not this summer. On the day that Martin Jol, the embattled Tottenham manager, claimed that he would ‘rather die’ than sell Berbatov, and just 24 hours before the teams square up at Old Trafford for a game that has significant repercussions for both clubs, it emerged that United are hoping to sign the £20 million-rated Bulgaria forward in the future.
A source close to David Gill, the United chief executive, told The Times on Friday that there was ‘no appetite for a deal this summer’, with Tottenham unwilling to sell now, but a move for Berbatov could be made in January or, more likely, at the end of the season.
United are understood to have inquired about the possibility of signing Berbatov recently, but contrary to some reports, the Barclays Premier League champions, who have spent a projected £68 million on players so far this summer, did not make an official bid for the forward.
Sir Alex Ferguson’s interest in adding Berbatov to an attack that already boasts such a vast array of talents as Wayne Rooney, Carlos Tevez, Anderson and Louis Saha was confirmed by the Bulgarian’s agent last night.
‘We had a 90-minute meeting with Tottenham’s chairman Daniel Levy and with sporting director Damien Comolli over Dimitar’s future,’ Emil Danchev said. ‘They informed us that there’s a query from Manchester United about the possibility of Berbatov joining them.
‘They (Tottenham) let us believe that they want Dimitar to stay for another season because they have ambitions to finish among the top four teams in the Premiership, but they told us they’ll have a meeting in the next day or two to decide his future.’
If Tottenham are prepared to sell Berbatov, who scored 23 goals for the North London club last season after his £10.9 million move from Bayer Leverkusen, it is unlikely to be with Jol’s say-so, if the manager’s remarks yesterday were anything to go by.
There have been suggestions that Berbatov, who has had an indifferent start to the campaign, would not be happy being used in a rotation policy this season, but Jol claimed the player had no problems. ‘Berbatov loves me,’ Jol said. ‘If he is playing well he gets all the praise and if he is not doing well I have to tell him. I had one approach and I said I’d rather die than sell him.’
Ferguson confirmed that United would not be signing another forward this summer. ‘We made an inquiry about a striker not so long ago,’ the United manager said. ‘The club concerned would not sell and it remains that way. With a week to the transfer deadline, it would be impossible to get anyone else in now.’
Tottenham visit United with Jol’s position under intense scrutiny after the club’s poor start to the season, although three points promises to be just as important to the champions after their own faltering start to the campaign, in which they already trail Chelsea by five points.
United’s title defence is not the only thing on the mind of Ferguson, however. The United manager claimed Friday that he fears the day a supporter might try to attack him in the dugout during a game.
‘I think you need to look at the nature of supporters to understand it (abuse) is an issue and why security has to be absolutely 100 per cent,’ Ferguson said. ‘You can’t have situations where supporters lean over the dugout and round corners and spit. That has happened in the past but nowadays it’s too dangerous.
‘The verbal stuff is not a problem. You just worry if some idiot does go a step further. That’s your problem.’
Ferguson, meanwhile, has said that United are looking into the possibility that Liverpool made an illegal approach for Gabriel Heinze, the Argentina defender, who joined Real Madrid this week after an acrimonious attempt to move from Old Trafford to Anfield.
Zimbabwe beat Bangladesh
Staff Correspondent
Bangladesh went down 1-2 against Zimbabwe, who are ranked 101 in the FIFA rankings, in the last group match of the Merdeka Cup at the Shah Alam Stadium, Kuala Lumpur on Saturday.
Bangladesh conceded the goals in the 36th and 57th minutes and striker Moni scored the consolation goal three minutes before the final whistle.
Bangladesh team will return today.
Women’s football
Staff Correspondent
The Bangladesh Football Federation women’s team will take on the visiting Orissa women’s side at the Khan Shaheb Osman Ali Stadium at Fatullah, Narayanganj at 4:00pm today. No tickets will be required to watch the match. The deputy commissioner of Narayanganj, Mohammad Faizul Kabir, is expected to witness the match as the chief guest and Narayanganj police super Mohammad Sibgatullah will remain present as the special guest.
Meanwhile BFF women’s team suffered a 0-2 goals defeat to theOrissa women’s football team in the second exhibition match at the MA Aziz Stadium in Chittagong on Saturday.
Earlier, in the opening match on August 21, the hosts forced the tourists to share points from goalless draw at the Dhanmondi Women Sports Complex.
Panchagarh football
Our Correspondent . Panchagarh
Rajshahi moved into the final of the Panchagarh DC Gold Cup football tournament edging past Naogaon 1-0 in the first semi-final at the local stadium on Saturday. Abdul Jalil scored the match winner in the 83rd minute.
Naogaon were always at the receiving end and some brilliant defensive work by Siraj saved them from conceding more goals.
Tangail face Panchagarh Chamber of Commerce XI in the other semi-final on Monday.
Twin fifties propel Zimbabwe to 247
Cricinfo
Tatenda Taibu injected some much-needed oomph into what had been a lacklustre start with a 39-ball 43 and Sean Williams and Stuart Matsikenyeri added 84 in 12.5 overs as Zimbabwe totalled 247 for 7 at the Harare Sports Club.
Graeme Smith elected to field but South Africa’s bowlers were far from penetrative, allowing Zimbabwe to turn in a much better performance and set a competitive total for the tourists.
A totally contrasting second half saw Zimbabwe’s worm slowly shoot up thanks to a vital partnership between Williams and Matsikenyeri.
Where 92 runs came in the first 25, there were 154 in the last. Critically, in the second half, South Africa struggled to find the correct length.
They either pitched short or full and this suited Williams and Matsikenyeri just fine.
After 41 overs Zimbabwe were 184 for 4 and it was from here that the pair picked the slower balls very well.
Steyn’s indifferent day continued as Williams pulled him over midwicket for four and slogged another four over mid-on.
Steyn had his revenge of sorts when Williams backed away and edged to AB de Villiers and also cleaned up Matsikenyeri for 52, but it was a fine innings after a first-ball duck in the opener at Bulawayo.
Taibu’s 39-ball 43 contrasted Taylor’s 44 from 83 deliveries but it was their stand that gave Zimbabwe confidence after a very slow start.
Taibu raised the 50-run stand off 58 balls with a thump over mid-on but fell soon after as he mistimed a front-foot pull and spiralled an easy catch to fine leg off Albie Morkel.
That spunky innings was a great reminder of what smart, aggressive cricket can do to a flagging side’s confidence.
Warne out for three weeks
Reuters/Bdnews24.com . London
Shane Warne could miss the rest of the English season after fracturing a rib while bowling in Hampshire’s draw with Lancashire at Old Trafford, his club reported on Friday.
The Australian leg-spinner and Hampshire captain suffered the injury on Thursday and a scan on Friday revealed the extent of the damage.
Warne will be out for at least three weeks, a major blow for his county as they chase their first Championship since 1973.
‘It is too difficult to put an exact time frame on it but it is a side injury affecting the eleventh rib.’ Hampshire physio Andrew Nealon was quoted as saying on the England and Wales Cricket Board website www.ecb.co.uk.
‘Shane’s played with many injuries over a long career, and if anybody can possibly play through the pain it’s him,’ Nealon added on the BBC.
‘The rest of our season is a pretty congested calendar. We have got four games to go and if it is humanly possible then he will be on the field before the end of the season. We will be doing all that we can to help that process.’
Rafa relief at Torres strike
New Age Desk
Rafa Benitez is relieved Fernando Torres has avoided a Peter Crouch-style goal drought.
The £21.5million Spaniard opened his Liverpool account with a stunner in the 1-1 draw with Chelsea on Sunday.
And Benitez was delighted — recalling the stick Crouch took as he went 21 games without a goal, including three for England, after a £7million move from Southampton in 2005.
The Reds boss reckons the Kop will now be patient with the former Atletico Madrid star while he adjusts to the demands of the Premier League.
Benitez told The Sun: ‘It is so important for a striker to score his first goal for a new club.
‘And to do it in front of his own supporters with a great strike against a big club made it even more important.
‘It was good for his future at the club because people will now know he can perform at this level.
‘We all remember how people kept asking about Crouch ‘When is he ever going to score?’.
‘We will win title’
New Age Desk
Michael Essien has taunted Manchester United by claiming Chelsea are red-hot title favourites.
The Londoners already have a crucial five-point lead over the Premier League champ-ions after United’s worst start in 15 years.
Yet despite being just three games into the season, midfield star Essien reckons Chelsea’s rivals will not be able to catch up.
Essien told The Sun: ‘We are favourites, of course. We are the best and will win the title. It is as simple as that.
‘The standard for us is to win the title and win all the titles we are competing for. Everybody expects us to win the title and that is what we are focused on doing. We don’t care about United — what is most important is that we win all our matches and the rest will be history. I don’t think their start has eased the pressure on us.
‘There are teams who have shown early promise like Manchester City so it doesn’t mean we are free from the pressure of everybody expecting us to win the title. We are not under-estimating any team but with this attitude we should win the title.’
Essien added: ‘United might be in a difficult position right now but they might bounce back.
‘We should be concentrating on getting maximum points not only to fend off the challenge from United but also the early pacesetters.’
The Ghana ace is playing through the pain of a knee injury in order to face best pal Sulley Muntari when Portsmouth visit Stamford Bridge Saturday.
Essien added: ‘I have already told Sulley our friendship ends until after the game.
‘He is like a brother to me. We are room-mates with Ghana and laugh at each other a lot.
‘It will be a special game but I want to win and poke fun at him.’
Viduka vows not to celebrate
Agence France-Presse . Middlesbrough
Newcastle striker Mark Viduka has vowed not to celebrate too much if he scores today as his new team visit his old paymasters Middlesbrough at the Riverside.
Viduka ended his three-year spell on Teeside in the summer as he joined big Sam Allardyce’s revolution on Tyneside.
But the Australian forward is not going to rub salt into his old club’s wounds if he comes up trumps in the Tyne-Tees derby, even though a goal would see him reach a milestone of 150 strikes in club football.
‘I loved my time at Middlesbrough, and if I did score on Sunday I would not celebrate too much because it was a great part of my career there. I enjoyed it and I am looking forward to seeing a few old faces at the Riverside,’ he said.
‘But I am a Newcastle player now and I will be focused on trying to take the three points home.
‘As far as the Middlesbrough supporters are concerned, I don’t really know what kind of reception I will get. But whatever happens, it will not change the way I feel about Middlesbrough Football Club.’
Boro boss Gareth Southgate is planning a rude homecoming for Viduka.
‘He was an outstanding player, I loved looking after him, he scored some very important goals for us and he led the team from the front,’ said the Boro boss.
‘I’ve spoken to him since and I hope it works out for him as an individual. But he knows on Sunday we will be around and about him and trying to make life as uncomfortable for him as we possibly can.’
Meanwhile, Allardyce is hoping his team came come out of the blocks firing on all cylinders, just as they did on the opening day of the season at the Reebok stadium where they raced into a 3-0 lead against Bolton after just 26 minutes.
‘We have an opportunity to build on that performance against Bolton and if we do we will cause Middlesbrough a few problems,’ he told Newcastle TV World.
‘It’s often down to taking your chances, like Blackburn showed on the opening day at Boro, and we have the players to do that.
‘We need to have that cutting edge on Sunday, like we did at Bolton, and if you have that you can turn the game in your favour very quickly.’
That cutting edge was conspicuous by its absence the following weekend against Aston Villa, though, as Newcastle were blunted in a 0-0 draw. And given the two gilt-edged chances England forward Michael Owen missed against Germany in midweek, it is fair to say that the rich array of attacking options at Allardyce’s disposal still have some work to do to reach their full potential.
Owen will be battling it out with Nigeria forward Obafemi Martins for a place alongside Viduka, while Alan Smith is likely to revert to a midfield berth after starting up front for England against Germany. Middlesbrough defender Jonathan Woodgate will not be making an appearance against his former side as he is not yet ready to return, despite recovering from a knee injury.
Egyptian striker Mido is also a doubt for Middlesbrough, as are Andrew Taylor and Luke Young, although Brazilian midfielder Fabio Rochemback returns after a ban. Newcastle will be without Shay Given, Celestine Babayaro, Joey Barton and Damien Duff, although Turkish international Emre is back in training.
Newcastle are sixth in the table with four points from two games while Middlesbrough sit 14th with three points from as many games.
Platini hands it to Juve
New Age Desk
Michel Platini has not forgotten his beloved Juventus. ‘I would love one day to hand Juve the Champions League as President of UEFA.’
Le Roi remains a legend among the Bianconeri faithful and now that he has ascended the ranks to lead UEFA, he hopes they will cross paths again.
‘In the infinite history of Juventus, Serie B represents only 30 difficult seconds between successes,’ said the Frenchman of their Calciopoli aberration.
Platini scored 70 goals in 147 games for the Turin giants between 1982 and ’87, winning two Scudetti, the Coppa Italia, European Cup, Cup Winners’ Cup, Intercontinental Cup and European Super Cup.
He was elected President of UEFA in January and one of his duties was handing the Champions League trophy to Milan captain Paolo Maldini in Athens.
‘I would love one day to hand Juve the cup as President of UEFA,’ he told the ‘Gazzetta dello Sport.’
I don’t apologise, says Cassano
New Age Desk
Antonio Cassano gave a rare and revealing interview discussing his character faults and clashes with the media. ‘But I apologise for nothing.’
‘It is not an issue of counting to 10, 100 or 1,000. This is my personality. I would have to file down certain aspects of it, but I cannot change overnight.’
Even after resolving rows with former friends Francesco Totti and Fabio Capello, he has pointedly refused to say sorry.
‘If I make a mistake, then I make a mistake. That is all. Why should I apologise and to who? Recognising my errors does not mean saying sorry. The media are always happy with me, to begin with. Then when they discover what I’m like they start to attack me,’ he told Sky Italia television.
‘I don’t really care, though. I am always treated with extremes, they build me up and knock me down in an instant. I play well for one game and am back to being a genius, if I get one match wrong I am the crazy guy who doesn’t want to train. There is never grey with me, it is either black or white.’
Now that he is back in Italy for Sampdoria, he can look back on the disappointing 18 months spent at Real Madrid.
‘I played alongside great champions like Zinedine Zidane, Raul, Roberto Carlos and Guti, but I think Ronaldo had something extra,’ continued the ex-Roma starlet.
‘It is great to be back in Italy and I got such a warm welcome from the Sampdoria fans. There were so many people, I found it quite moving. My mother is extremely happy to be in Italy. Making her and the people close to me – especially my cousins – content is very important. If they aren’t happy, then I can’t be either.’
Bobby breaks silence over Jack rift
Reuters/Bdnews24.com . London
Bobby Charlton broke a long silence over the reasons for a bitter family rift with his brother Jack, in an interview before next month’s release of his autobiography.
The Charlton brothers, team mates when England won the World Cup in 1966, have been estranged for many years but in an interview published in The Times magazine on Saturday, Bobby said he was stung by his older brother’s criticism of his wife a decade ago, calling it disgraceful.
He said when he sees him at reunions of England players they do talk, but he is not looking for a reconcillation—and they don’t meet up at Christmas. ‘Jack came out in the newspapers saying things about my wife that were absolutely disgraceful,’ Charlton, 69, said ahead of the publication from Monday of extracts from his book ‘My Manchester United Years’. ‘Ask anyone that ever met my wife: ‘hoity-toity’ is not a word they’d use.’
Bobby, who won 106 caps and holds the scoring records for both England (49) and Manchester United (198) added: ‘My brother made a big mistake. I don’t understand why he did it. He couldn’t have possibly known her and said what he said. I was astonished.’
Jack, who won 35 caps for England and later coached Ireland, had publicly criticised his brother’s wife Norma after she and the Charltons’ mother Cissie had a falling out.
Bobby said his wife had tried to get along with his mother.
‘(My mother) was a strong character. My wife is also a very strong character ... There was a clash and it just never went away really. We stopped seeing each other. At the end of the day you have to have your priorities and mine was my wife.’ Charlton said he felt no sorrow over the estrangement with his brother and said no one else should either.
‘I don’t think anyone should feel sad about it. He’s a big lad, I’m a big lad and you move on. I’m not going to ruin the rest of my life worrying about my brother and I’ve no doubt he’s the same. If we see each other we’ll say hello.
‘I’m sorry it happened but life goes on.’ In the book, Charlton also said he is still haunted by the 1958 Munich air crash in which 23 passengers died including eight Manchester United players. He survived with minor injuries. It still reaches down and touches me every day,’ Charlton writes. ‘Sometimes I feel it quite lightly, a mere brushstroke across an otherwise happy mood. Sometimes it engulfs me with terrible regret and sadness.’
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