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Bangladesh probably has the highest number of ‘important’ people in the world. We have VIPs, VVIPs, and God knows what else. But we wonder, what exactly is so important about these people? Is a foreign army looting all the wealth of our Sonar Bangla that we need these VVIPs to guard our empire?
   America, Russia and other big guys have nuclear technology, have sent their men into space, sent robots to Mars, invented/pioneered computer and nanotechnology, have the biggest drug companies and they will probably have fusion power before anyone else (are you listening, Arab co usins? Your oil ain’t gonna last forever). And they do all that without any VVIPs at all. But our poor country’s resources are drained to employ so many VIP cowboys. I am sure somebody in some big office is thinking, hold on, we need something even more powerful than VVIP. How about UIP (Ultra Important Person)? And why not the daddy of all, the Superperson? Move everybody, move, our Superperson wants to board the plane!
    Everyone in Bangladesh is a very important person. The most favourite technique used by people to prove themselves important is to speak as little as possible when you ask them something important. You go to a dentist/doctor and ask him a question, but he wouldn’t answer as if the responsibility of the whole universe is on his shoulders. You go to a travel agent, lawyer, bank clerk, chairman; everywhere you face the same irritation. But these same people spend all day, wasting people’s time and money, gossiping about sod all. Have you seen those lakhs of supporters, all standing in the rain, heat or even bomb blasts to listen to the speeches of Saifur Rahman, Tofail Ahmed, Mannan Bhuiyan, Abdul Jalil, Hasina, Khaleda, et al? Politicians like Bush and Blair only dream about support of this magnitude. These people have superstar popularity in Bangladesh. But the funny thing is, forget about Saifur Rahman or Abdul Jalil, even Khaleda or Hasina doesn’t make it to the back pages of tabloids when they visit other countries! And that is the real identity of these people. They are not as big as they appear to our easily-fooled people who give them God-like respect in their own artificial world. In the real world, they are unwelcome, unknown and absolutely useless. To show you a comparison: last time Putin came on his state visit to the UK, British TV channels gave almost ten minutes of prime-time coverage, discussing his car’s engine, its bomb-proof technology, its weight, any James Bond gadgets, etc. Ten minutes of prime-time coverage for his car alone? Even God doesn’t get this much coverage in the West in this day and age!
   A Pakistani colleague at my workplace always teases me with anything and everything I do or say. One day he came to me and told me how terrible I was at my work. He said, ‘You are so useless that in some parts of the world when people buy AK-47, they get someone like you for free with the AK-47 so they can shoot and do target practice’! Maybe he is right. But I think this joke will fit our VIPs and politicians far better.
   Azad Miah
   Oldham, UK

I would like to thank Anisul Huq for his words of support (letter, 15 Dec). My words are sometimes provocative, but they come from my heart, and they are meant to promote discussion. I believe if a culture is to survive and flourish, it has to change. Cultures that are protected from change die. Society moves on, sometimes in ways we cannot immediately understand. For example, I am appalled at many things that now seem to be part of British life, but I guess I’m showing my age and I have to accept the new ways.
   My problem with Mr. Chowdhury’s letter therefore, is that he uses the time worn phrases such as ‘our women’ (do they belong to someone, like sheep or cattle?) and he uses the old one about his religion. I respect a man’s relationship with his God, and I don’t wish to interfere.
   That’s why I don’t like ‘Islamic republics’, the government has no call upon my beliefs or my interaction with my God. C’mon, Mr. Chowdhury, lighten up, and let’s all tolerate each other, and move forward.
   And thanks for your support, Mr. Huq.
   Richard Murphy
   Somewhere in England